Book Review: The Reformed Vampire Support Group by Catherine Jinks

Photo taken from Goodreads

Book Info

Title:  The Reformed Vampire Support Group

Author:  Catherine Jinks
Publisher:  Harcourt Children's Books

Language: English

Format: Hardcover

Pages:  368 pages

ISBN - 13:  978-0152066093

Source:  Purchased, Celina's Books and Mags

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Summary

From Goodreads: 

"Think vampires are romantic, sexy, and powerful? Think again. Vampires are dead. And unless they want to end up staked, they have to give up fanging people, admit their addiction, join a support group, and reform themselves.

Nina Harrison, fanged at fifteen and still living with her mother, hates the Reformed Vampire Support Group meetings every Tuesday night. Even if she does appreciate Dave, who was in a punk band when he was alive, nothing exciting ever happens. That is, until one of group members is mysteriously destroyed by a silver bullet. With Nina (determined to prove that vamps aren't useless or weak) and Dave (secretly in love with Nina) at the helm, the misfit vampires soon band together to track down the hunter, save a werewolf, and keep the world safe from the likes of themselves."

Review

We've always viewed vampires as these beautiful, seductive, and dead-strong creatures of the night.  We're led to believe the stories of their cold, calculating murderous gazes and their ability to kill us in the blink of an eye (or a bite in the neck as is the case).  But have you ever wondered how an undead person, no blood in his/her veins, unable to ingest foods that provide protein and carbohydrates, unable to absorb vitamin D in sunshine -since they can't get out in the sun (Edward Cullen, et. al  notwithstanding), can survive and even posses superhuman abilities?  I just don't get it.  Pop culture's vampires just defy common sense.

 

Enter Catherine Jinks' The Reformed Vampire Support Group.  A new breed of vampires who are neither strong nor beautiful nor cunning - these vampires are totally eligible for hospice care and no human would even be harmed.  They are almost always tired, weak, unable to stare at bright lights for fear of hemorrhage, and none looks like the vampires of famous vampire books that have romanticized those beings.  Yes, I know the Everything you know about vampires is wrong thing has been getting old for quite some time already but I am overlooking that fact with this book since it's so funny.  And you know how I love anti-paranormal fiction.  In the great tradition of I Kissed A Zombie, and I Liked It by Adam Selzer, you probably get that I am that kind of reader who loves those hilarious books that poke fun at these romanticized creatures that most people would go crazy over. 

Which is why while most people would probably roll their eyes and think, Not another vampire book, I am totally endorsing this book to all readers out there who would just like to read a humorous, light story that pokes a little fun on perhaps one of the most formidable paranormal character out there.  And that's not just because this book is hilarious.  Other aspects of this book are very solid and spot on that it might lead you to believe, in some parts of this book, that the popular vampire lore is just so stupid and impractical and would even have an urge to hail Jinks as the new Anne Rice (or Stephenie Meyer?  Bram Stoker?) for the realistic portrayal of a fictional character that has for ages been believed as frightful and powerful, which is the complete opposite of these pathetic, down-on-their-luck beings.  The voices are captured in a way that you would think every character had their own chapter in the book when really, the whole story is told by Nina, this really apathetic and pessimistic vampire.  You get to know more about her through her narrative than through whatever she might tell you about herself.  The same goes for the other characters - they or the narrator would tell you something about them, but the way they would speak and act would help you better in getting to know them.  It's like watching their movie and reading their book at the same time because they appear so vivid in your head you're afraid you might be hallucinating (which I may be).  

As for the plot, it is simple enough to understand and too uncomplicated that no reader would think it's hard to wade through or very inconsistent with prior developments.  I like that Ms. Jinks once mentioned in her website:  "My mantra for writing fantasy/paranormal fiction is 'realistic, realistic, realistic'."  And it shows.  No need to use very intricate devices in bringing out a story to a thrilling climax and satisfactory resolution, she was able to bring the story to quite an undemanding but very vindicating close, and even though some would disagree that the novel is altogether devoid of 'complications,' all of them were dealt quite simply and the readers never get confused.

I would also like to point out that for me, the book cover totally hits the mark on how the characters looked.  My brother also noticed that on this book and it really helped us understand and appreciate this story and its characters more, and made it even more funny and vivid.

So go ahead and grab a copy of this book.  I heard that the new book off this series is out, The Abused Werewolf Support Group, and if I were you, better read this book first before getting the new one.  To help you laugh at and feel for them some more.

Rating

If you have any questions on this particular rating, please refer to my ratings system here.

Notice

All opinions expressed in this book review are my own and not influenced by any party in any way.

Please contact me for questions, comments, and suggestions.  

Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story by Adam Rex

(Photo taken from Goodreads)

Title:  Fat Vampire

Author:  Adam Rex

Publisher:  Balzer + Bray

Language: English

Format:  Hardcover

Pages:  336 pages

ISBN-10:  0061920908

ISBN-13:  978-0061920905

Source:  Gift

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Rating: 

I've been eyeing this in bookstores ever since one of my friends mentioned this book to me.  Just like I Kissed A Zombie and I Liked It, I thought this would make a really funny paranormal story so I totally wanted to read it.  However, the book was too pricey and I could do without it anyway.  So it was a very fun surprise that one of my friends got me this when I got sick this week - sort of a 'Get Well Soon gift,' and I must say, just looking at the cover almost made me better.  The cover itself is funny, with that 'blood slushie' thing going on that really makes me laugh.

The story is about a fat, pudgy, unattractive 15-year-old boy - Doug "Meatball" Lee - who was at the wrong place at the wrong time, becoming a victim to a newly-made vampire, which turned him into a vampire himself.  Interesting?  Definitely.  So I was totally into reading this as it was very different from typical vampire stories where vampires were attractive, sexy, and romantic beings who lured their victims with their charm and cunning.  Doug is clumsy, insecure, and of course, fat.  I was very curious how this story would go - would he be a different breed of Edward and find his own Bella?  Would he ever become badass?  As human psychology dictates, we naturally gravitate to the underdogs, and Doug is definitely that.  

First chapters into the story and I was really laughing out loud.  Why shouldn't I?  Just read these:

"I’m a vampire! I’m a fat vampire, okay? I was trying to lose weight before I got bitten. Now I’m screwed."

"...You know I haven’t had anything to eat or drink except blood for the last month? And nothing. No change. If I can’t lose weight on an all-blood Diet—"

Weren't those funny?   I was laughing the whole time while reading through those chapters.  But alas!  Like a vampire that has suddenly appeared and drunk the blood from this book, it suddenly changed to a not-as-compelling-and-not-as-funny kind of story.  The characters had a lot of promise, especially Dough and Senjal, but despite their amazing back stories - Doug as a fat vampire and Senjal as an exchange student recovering from 'The Google,' a bad case of becoming an internet troll - they've become cardboard-flat and one-dimensional.  I thought their stories were worth exploring, and I believed that would happen but no, the joke in Doug as a fat vampire suddenly became very old, and Senjal turned into a very flat character.  She just stayed in the sidelines, talking when she's supposed to, acting like she's supposed to, having a lot of opinions but never voicing them.  It was frustrating reading about these two 'not develop' into the characters they were supposed to become in the end.  But I guess that's where the 'A Never Coming of Age Story' comes in.  And here I am thinking that that statement was just a joke in the title.

Even the villain - whose story closely resembles that of The Sandman by Neil Gaiman, was too dull.  This story had a lot of laughing moments in spite of it turning into an unpromising novel, but I never once laughed at anything that this villain said or did.  There was nothing likable nor 'hatable' about him.  Frankly, this story could have done without him.

The story starts with Doug as a pudgy and uncool vampire, then he changes into a mysteriously cool and blase vampire.  He drops his bestfriend, confronts the girl he likes, and almost kills his girlfriend.  I never liked the changes that happen to Doug, I never even liked Doug that much in the first place.  He was whiny, selfish, and uncaring about others - and that's when he was just an uncool kid.  But when he started acting like a hot vampire, his attitude grew even worse.  At first, I sympathized with his attitude because I was thinking that was his defense mechanism in order to cope with being a geek and unpopular, but cruelty and taking advantage of your friend?  I thought that was too much.  

This book also digressed A LOT.  There was the main plot, and then some minor plots were introduced without ever being resolved.  Some interesting characters that never got explored, more interesting plots that never got finished.  Seriously, this story had a lot of stories - if not potential - that would have made this book better than what it has become. 

The writing and the premise were both great.  But I did not care about the execution.  Seriously, there were more than a hundred ways this story could have turned out and it would be way better than this one actually became.  Even the ending could have been better, instead of sounding like the author just wrote a hasty ending in order to meet his deadline.  

To be a total geek about it:  this book was full of high-tech features, but it was just used as a calculator.  Didn't get that?  That's the point.